School grades can be a source of stress for many families. Therefore, it is advisable to address the topic from a positive discipline perspective, always considering the behaviors that children will carry with them in their future academic endeavors.

An important part of a child’s holistic development is their academic education, which involves various levels and factors that influence outstanding performance, including the grades from multiple assessments. But how do these results impact children?

At home, grades should not be a competition; therefore, adults should avoid making comparisons. We must remember that everyone is different and has distinct abilities. It is ideal not to measure children’s value by their academic results, as this can lead to problems within the family.

A fundamental point is to consider that our children’s grades belong to them and no one else. So why do we adults sometimes feel entitled to share them with others, including people outside our family? Grades should simply serve to evaluate their own progress.

Grades, whether positive or negative, will always have an impact on children, as they are numerical evaluations that reflect something done well or poorly. Knowing that their grades are assessed can affect them in various ways. Negative grades may make them feel inadequate, experience frustration, and feel stress. Conversely, positive grades can boost their self-esteem, increase confidence, and enhance their sense of security.

The reaction to a negative or positive grade varies with each child, depending on their family background, values, treatment, and expectations. Parents play a crucial role in shaping behaviors that lead to emotional maturity related to their academic life.

Parents should understand the difference between motivating and inflating a child’s ego. Some parents might create the belief in their child that everything they do is perfect, leading to a crisis when faced with frustration. Parents need to allow children to experience feelings of loss or not achieving something to help them grow emotionally.

During the process that children go through as a result of good or bad grades, it is necessary for parents to remain attentive, take appropriate measures, and learn to motivate them effectively, so these situations do not lead to negative effects.

Given this, it is important to change the way we view this issue. The first step is to discuss with children their feelings about their grades. Questions like, “Are you proud of yourself?” “What can you do next term with this subject?” “Can we help you?” can help us understand our children better.

Actions such as talking to them about subjects they like or dislike, asking how we can assist them, reminding them that sometimes results do not reflect their effort, and letting them know that we love them for who they are and not just for what they achieve, are crucial for them.

Some psychologists advise parents to take specific actions to support children with their grades, such as:

• Encouraging through emotional intelligence. Help them see that passing an evaluation is a significant achievement.
• Offering simple rewards for good grades, such as watching their favorite movie, going for ice cream, or having their favorite meal.
• Avoiding conditioning. Do not give material gifts as rewards, as this may lead the child to view rewards as conditional and not result in meaningful learning.
• Identifying reasons why a child feels sad about a poor grade. If they are discouraged because they felt underestimated or insecure, it could be linked to self-esteem issues.
• Discussing their failures and showing that these situations offer opportunities for learning and improvement.
• Being empathetic and understanding that for the child, it is a significant matter.